Over and Over
by Uphill Both Ways
Summary: With all sex, studying, and dorm restrictions aside—they were just two matches to the same fire. AU,ShizuoxIzaya.
1. Chapter 1

The malodorous musk of sex, sweat, and alcohol assailed him foremost after opening the dorm door, etching a scowl into his features. The half-hazard trail of clothing and dry bottles from the den's couches caught his peripheral. With a slam of his keys against the door-side shelf, Shizuo swore under his breath and hoped for his roommate's sake that the creak of mattress springs and breathy moans that managed to drift from the bedroom weren't what he imagined. Adding a purposeful stomp to his stride, Shizuo marched towards the smaller of the dorm's two rooms and invited himself into the dimly lit bedroom.

Trying to keep his focus from the naked girl, moaning and spread-eagle on damp and tangled sheets, Shizuo kept a baleful glare on the sweat-slicked man who blatantly _ignored_ his presence, if his grin upon Shizuo's entrance was anything to go by. Shizuo's fists clenched and heat spread through his limbs, temperament burning to an alarming degree.

"_Izaya_." He worked hard to suppress agitation, especially when all his roommate did to acknowledge him was nod and whisper;

"Shizu-chan."

Taking the girl into consideration, Shizuo decided against ripping Izaya from the bed and throwing him against the wall.

"_Stop _bringing your fuck buddies here, I fucking told you that."

Izaya barely slowed in his movements, while the girl seemed to feel just a bit more apprehensive, shrugging away from his caresses and pulling out from under his body.

"What's the big deal, Shizu-chan? Have I corrupted your virgin eyes?" Peering over his shoulder with a flash of crimson eyes on Shizuo, a self-satisfied smirk laced Izaya's face, making no movement to draw the girl back or send her away.

"_Fuck_, Izaya—it's not _about_ that, and you damn well know it. This is a _shared_ dorm."

"So?"

Shizuo bit down on his inner cheek, and forced his fists to remain at his sides, keeping his eyes trained down on the floor while the girl made a smart move and took her leave. She glanced one last time at Izaya after hurriedly collecting her clothes, and with a wink and the wave of a slender hand, she walked out.

"_So_, I'm sick of coming back here after work, finding _you_ getting it on with some _random_ girl from campus that you sneaked up here, while _I_ try and study for those fucking exams you don't seem to give a shit about." Shizuo linked his gaze back with Izaya's, leaning back against the wall opposite his roommate. Not trusting himself not to strike out, he stuffed his hands in his jean pockets.

"What, _jealous_?"

"Hardly. Pissed is more like it," said Shizuo.

Izaya exhaled wearily, zipping up the front of his jeans before completely turning to fix Shizuo with a frown on the edge of his damp bed, and disregarding most of what the other had just said.

"You still didn't have to go and freak her out like that, we didn't even get to finish!"

"What was her name?" Shizuo wouldn't let Izaya digress.

"Eh? I don't see how it matters." Izaya said firmly although taken aback a bit by Shizuo's inquiry.

"You don't know who she was. You never do. Don't pretend like you give a fuck about her. But _why_ do you feel the absolute _need_ to bring them back here? You'll get us _both_ in deep shit if one of the advisors catches you."

A smile broke out across the other's face, before a laugh spilled from his lips and Shizuo wondered if he'd missed something, increasing his agitation.

"_What_?"

Izaya took a breath before answering.

"I can't believe you're getting so worked up over her!"

"It's _not_ just her, you always sweet-talk these random chicks back to our dorm, have your way with them, and they never hear from you again. What happened to _respect_ for them?"

"Shizu-chan, have you _never_ heard of a one night stand? Those girls _wanted_ to come home with me, it has nothing to do with disrespect. To fuck someone, you don't need to be on a first name basis. And you need to relax, no one's gonna catch anything."

Running a hand through his day's-worn hair, Shizuo softened his tone. Trying to persuade Izaya with a sharp tongue was something Shizuo had learned never worked.

"You've had enough one night stands to make an entire relationship, maybe you should try getting _involved _for once."

Izaya scoffed, "Because I'm sure you know all about the wonders of being in a successful relationship."

Shizuo shifted on his feet.

"Izaya…I'm just saying—"

Crimson eyes narrowed dangerously, challenging Shizuo object.

"What you're_ saying _is that you want me with someone to end your own discomfort, and unless you _personally_ are offering to fix my relationship status, I'll _remain_ a proud single."

Empty air hung between them, where Shizuo's eyes broke contact with Izaya's and skipped over everything else in the room. Izaya, realizing he'd probably gone a little too far with his jaunts, attempted to alleviate some of the tension.

"Listen, I've had just a bit too much to drink, and you've had a long day. We don't always agree, but somehow we've made it this far without killing each other, and that's good enough for now. You know I'm not into the dating scene, and I know you're beyond stressed, so let's just end it there." said Izaya. He flopped down on his bed before remembering that it wasn't clean, and he grimaced before darting back into a sitting position.

Shizuo knew Izaya's excuse was partially bullshit, but didn't call him out on it. They'd been through worse fights before, and taken much longer to let everything drop. The yawn that escaped him reminded Shizuo of just how tired he was before he'd arrived at the dorm, saw Izaya with yet another girl, and released his stress onto his roommate. His anger was subsiding, but he still wanted to get a point across with his friend before he managed to sidestep it again.

"Fine. But I mean it, no more bringing girls back to the dorm."

"What? But Shizu-chan, where—"

"I don't _care_, it always smells like sex for hours after, I'm _not_ sleeping in a dorm covered with _bodily_ _fluids_ and _alcohol_."

Frustration was beginning to mount in Izaya all over again.

"Don't pull a bitchy 'it's me or them'."

"I'm not. I'm _telling_ you it's me. I won't be switching dorms in the middle of the semester."

"What's in this for _me_ if I stop?"

"_When_ you stop, you won't have to change your sheets so much."

Izaya struggled for his composure; _no_ _one_ told him his limits, especially not _Shizuo_. Up until that point, his friend had respected that. Izaya bit his tongue to stop a snarky remark.

"Okay, okay, fine. I'll stop bringing the women back." Izaya said, emitting a sigh and standing up to remove the bedclothes. Shizuo gaped at him for a few moments, numbly watching his roommate gather the sheets. Izaya tugged on his red tee from the floor, heading out of the bedroom with his sheets.

"See ya."

"Yeah…" Shizuo was still somewhat surprised by Izaya's agreement, and trailed his retreating back with cautious eyes.

There was no way he could've caught the mischievous smirk twisting Izaya's lips on the way out.

* * *

**A/N: I'm trying to wrap up 'Flaws', but this kept bothering me, so I continue to procrastinate. **

**But tell me what you think! And while I procrastinate, I'll ponder the deep meaning of your review. C:**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** **BIG HUGS OF LOVE TO LIL MISS ACORNWARRIOR. She be betalicious**.

**And THANK YOU to all you awesome reviewers, I got a lot of procrastination pondering done C:**

**chibi-I honestly didn't even think about that till' I named it, but yeah, it's a good song :)**

**Claimer: I obviously own Durarara and all its characters, because I'm **_**obviously**_** Narita, a man who knows Japanese, and this **_**obviously**_** isn't a ****fan****fiction website. **

**Don't sue me for my sarcasm. I'm donating to good causes, like the 'Grace Needs a Plane Ticket to Florida' Foundation.**

* * *

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Bee—_

"_Ugh_," Shizuo groaned, silencing the shrill alarm with a lazy fist. He rolled onto his back, slowly revealing his bleary eyes to an onslaught of light filtering in from the bedside window. His groggy mind was weighed down by the lifting curtains of sleep, and all he really could process was his desire to shut his eyes again. Not trusting his eyes to reopen if he allowed them such a luxury, he blinked only once and forced himself into a sitting position. Inhaling deeply to get the air flow to his brain, sharp pain raked down his throat, causing him to wince and take more shallow breaths, wondering what caused the sensitivity.

As soon as he realized he was in _Izaya's _bed, because _Izaya _had the window, Shizuo _also _remembered spraying the entire area with an overzealous amount of disinfectant, which explained why his olfactory senses were now burning.

He glanced at the clock on Izaya's bedside table, discovering that he'd slept an astounding…four hours. Shizuo stifled another groan for the sake of his inflamed throat. He couldn't even remember removing himself from his studying the previous night to go to bed; he'd probably just been too tired to register whose bed was which. Shizuo peered over his shoulder to where his own bed would be, frowning when he didn't see his roommate in it, wondering where he could've disappeared to so early in the morning.

Peering into the den area, he noted that though Izaya was still unaccounted for, the area had been picked up from the night before. Shizuo scowled, his temper simmering slightly from the memory of _why_ the area had necessitated a cleaning job. _Stupid fucking Izaya, he better not've been kidding about bringing people __home__again_, he thought bitterly. Shizuo blamed his irrational hatred towards the girl from the previous night on his still-drowsy awareness.

He'd been able to ignore the girls before, so what was the difference now? Was it the smug grin on Izaya's face when they'd been discovered? The fact that if Izaya or the girl were caught by an advisor, he and Shizuo would both be in deep shit? Or was it something else that caused his heart to race? A dull ache throbbed in the back of his head, and Shizuo decided on trying to clear his mind with a shower before his class started, desperately shoving all thoughts on the heat in his chest and the girl to the back of his mind.

As for Izaya, Shizuo decided just to talk to him when he got back from wherever, before dragging himself to his closet. Without much concern for the well-being of the fabric, Shizuo yanked tan cargo shorts and some white shirt rather harshly from their hangers. He grabbed a towel from a closet-bottom pile and, draping them over his arm, made his way from the dorm to the showers.

Rivulets of warm water soon trickled down his skin, and Shizuo felt his tense body relax as he inhaled the thick steam. The steady stream of water slapping the tile resonated around the stall, and the herbal scent of shampoo and soap drifted teasingly around Shizuo, calming his mind and opening it to numb wandering. He worked the soap into a lather, dragging the suds lazily along his body, thoughts straying from the studying he'd done the night prior to trying again to remember how and when he'd ended in bed, and when he _again_ came up blank, he was pulled back into his contemplations of Izaya and that girl.

The shampoo bottle in his hand lost most of its contents while he followed that train of thought, accidentally having gripped it too hard, and most of it wound up on the tiled floor rather than in his open palm. Shizuo frowned, but ignored the mess and massaged what he had managed to salvage gently into his hair. The image of Izaya and _her _appeared in his mind's eye again, as if the vision was seared into his memory. He scrubbed his scalp harder, trying to refocus his thoughts; away from the girl, away from her moans, away from Izaya, from his pleasured expression, from the smirk he'd flashed when Shizuo appeared, from the heat now flushing Shizuo's cheeks—

The blonde's eyes shot open as he became suddenly aware of the arms wrapped around his waist and the chin resting complacently on his shoulder.

"Hey there."

Shizuo all but punched him.

"_Shit_, Izaya—"

Shizuo yanked the arms from around his waist, and shoved Izaya away from him so that he stumbled back into the wall.

"Aw, aren't you happy to see me, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo turned his head to glare at his surprise guest, forcing his gaze to stay _focused_ on his roommate's face, and resisting the temptation to let his eyes wander lower.

"The fuck I am. Why the _hell _are you in here?" Shizuo snapped, taking into consideration that they were both _very_ naked and in a _very_ restricting rectangle of space, the tingling of claustrophobia creeping in.

Izaya pouted, "And I thought we could have a nice, long, _steamy _sho—"

"Get out." Shizuo crossed his arms expectantly. Putting his hands on Izaya to push him out forcefully didn't sit right with him; the suppressed mental images of Izaya in bed the previous night resurfaced with the thought, and Shizuo suppressed his body's reaction.

"Oh lighten up, it's just a shower," Izaya scoffed, rolling his eyes and grabbing the depleted shampoo bottle from the shelf next to Shizuo, seemingly unperturbed by the small amount of space.

"Besides, " Izaya said, casting the empty bottle to the floor in favor of running his fingers through Shizuo's hair, "you still owe me for last night."

He smirked, and Shizuo hoped that the flush the water's heat cast on his body would cover the blush rising to his face. Hypersensitive towards the slender digits tangled in the back of his damp hair and Izaya's proximity, blood rushed from his whirring mind to his groin—

Izaya pulled back, now working the shampoo he'd taken from Shizuo's hair into his own scalp. Dumbfounded and flustered, Shizuo's gaze followed Izaya, even as the water from the shower head began to cause the shampoo from his hair to run into his eyes. Izaya turned back to him.

"You okay Shizu-chan?" Izaya's smug grin was a dead giveaway to his intentions. Shizuo snapped back to reality.

Scowling, he tore his eyes away from Izaya, shielding his lower body from view, willing the heat to disappear as soon as it'd arrived. He washed the suds from his hair and face, muttering obscure threats into the air.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Is that rhetorical?"

"Are you annoying?"

Izaya frowned. "It's rude to answer questions with questions, Shizu-chan."

"Yeah? Well it's also rude to barge into someone's shower," Shizuo snapped, shooting a pointed glare at Izaya.

Twirling the bar of soap in his hands, Izaya smiled evenly at him, which Shizuo took as warning.

"Aw, don't tell me Shizu-chan is embarrassed," Izaya teased, and before Shizuo had a chance to guess what he was doing, Izaya rose up on his toes and peered over Shizuo's shoulder, eyes trailing down his torso then further down to his—

"You certainly don't need to be." Amusement rang clear in Izaya's tone.

Shizuo stood, torn between his desire to punch the cheeky grin right off Izaya's face, and the urge to get out of the shower and cover himself up. His anger got the best of him, and he slammed a hand into Izaya's chest, pushing him forcefully against the stall wall where the jet of water sprayed him directly in the face, plastering his hair against his eyes and forehead, white suds of shampoo trailed down his face.

"What the fucking _hell _is your problem?" Shizuo spat.

Though pain seared his spine and chest, Izaya kept an irritatingly smooth expression, wiping the hair from his eyes, where amusement was visible in the fierce crimson. Shizuo forced himself to breathe deeply in an effort to keep himself from crushing the man he had pinned against the wall. His eyes searched Izaya's.

"Well, the water's kinda getting cold, an—"

"_No_, you damn _flea_, stop shitting with me!" Shizuo's tone was growing desperate, his frustration mixed with his uncertainties. He wanted to hate this man. He wanted to hate him _so much_.

"In my defen—"

"_Shut up_. You fucking answer me straight," Shizuo enunciated, coupling his words with more pressure to Izaya's chest, who couldn't help the grimace edging into his façade. Eyes locked with Izaya's, instead of the hatred Shizuo desired, all he felt was melting anger and confusion.

"_You _asked _me _a question," Izaya said, jaw clenched, "_I'm_ just trying to _answer _it."

Shizuo wanted to hear anything but Izaya's voice at that moment, angry at the man for perpetually throwing subliminal taunts at him, and furious with himself for losing control of his anger at his roommate so easily.

Shizuo sighed, dropping his fist from Izaya's chest.

"You know what? It doesn't even matter. You'll never make any fucking sense."

Izaya watched Shizuo turn away with disgust, and trudge out of the shower, feeling strangely unsatisfied. Shizuo didn't usually cave in so quickly. He frowned. Getting heated up from the rising argument, and the adrenaline starts running just to _drop_? That was no fun at all.

Izaya followed Shizuo silently out of the shower.

It was a long walk back to the dorm, and by the time the two reached it**,** Izaya was back to his carefree swagger, and Shizuo found himself relaxed again. Neither mentioned what had transpired, and their conversation returned to a normal pace.

"I still think it's stupid to get hitched right outta high school," said Izaya, unlocking the door.

"Well it's _Shinra_. He's been obsessing over that girl since," Shizuo scratched the back of his neck, "since forever, really."

Izaya merely shrugged as they stepped into the den. Shizuo eyed the stack of books on the desk diagonal from their TV, disappointed that he hadn't finished his research project yet. Izaya noticed his scowl.

"Oh yeah, by the time I got home last night you were knocked out pretty good." Izaya pursed his lips. "No fun at all, didn't even wake up when I moved you into the bedroom."

That explained why Shizuo didn't remember crawling into bed before he blacked out. But why would Izaya do something like that? It wasn't like him. Shizuo grew suspicious.

"And you moved me to _your_ bed because…?"

"Because you're heavy and I couldn't haul your ass all the way over to yours." Izaya plopped down on the couch in from of their plasma screen and started flipping lazily through the channels.

"Huh." Shizuo scoured their mini-fridge for a snack, and then joined Izaya on the sofa.

"Yeah, you're welcome. I love you too."

"Ch, better not've tried anything funny," Shizuo said, fixing Izaya with a suspecting glare.

A small grin tugged at the corners of Izaya's lips.

"I guess you'll never know, Shizu-chan…"

"Heh, we'll see about that." Shizuo squinted to check the clock on top of the television, and nearly choked on the chip he shoved into his mouth.

"Shit, I gotta run. I'll catch you later, okay?"

Izaya plastered on a heartbroken expression as Shizuo jumped up from the sofa, pausing in his channel-surfing and trying not to grin as the blonde stumbled around for his books.

"And here I thought you were finally putting me first. Oh, for shame."

Shizuo glanced skeptically at him. "Don't _you _have classes to get to?"

Izaya snorted. "As long as I turn in the projects, the professors don't give a shit whether or not I show up for class. I already know the material anyway. And hey, don't forget that you still owe me."

Shizuo was halfway out the door, double checking his mental list of things he needed to take with him. "Right. Well then after work we can catch a movie or something if you want."

Izaya grinned, "Sounds great. Have a wonderful day, sweetie!"

Shizuo didn't even dignify that with an answer before slamming the door shut.

Alone in the dorm, with nothing but the low murmurings on the TV to keep him company, Izaya chuckled.

They were both going to catch some entertainment after work alright.


	3. Chapter 3

Walking in the front door after an exhausting work shift, Shizuo wasn't sure that he was ready to face Izaya. Rather, the disaster Izaya may have made of the dorm while waiting, home alone. Knowing the enigmatic man's tendencies, Shizuo was wary. Maybe in his boredom Izaya'd trashed the dorm; it'd happened before. Or maybe he'd invited people over and got wasted, littering the floor with bottles and bodies again. Perhaps he'd ditched the place and decided to let Shizuo owe him for a while longer. Shizuo honestly wouldn't have been surprised if he'd caught Izaya bedding with yet _another _woman, flashing him a smirk and a '_Haha, just kidding__ about the chicks.'_

With Izaya, Shizuo was never sure what to expect.

But there was no way for Shizuo to know what he _couldn't_ have expected.

Shizuo sighed, dropping his keys onto the door-side shelf, scowling at the marks in the white paint he'd angrily created the other day. He slipped his phone out from his pants pocket, and flipped it open, scrolling aimlessly through the menu to try and distract his negative thoughts. Shuffling his feet slowly against the bland achromatic carpeting, he turned the corner leading to the den, painful anxiety settling like lead in his stomach. Before he even looked up from his phone, the low murmurs of the television drifted to his ears, and he swallowed his nerves, berating himself for suspecting the worst from Izaya.

Plastering a grin on his face, Shizuo approached the den sofa from the rear, relaxing a bit when he noticed the familiar shock of dark hair from over its edge. He opened his mouth to voice his arrival, when his every coherent thought dissolved.

Izaya was panting harshly, from what Shizuo could see as he got closer, and thrusting erratically, while white-knuckled hands gripped the couch. Perspiration traced his brow, and glinted from his flushed skin, slick hair plastered against his forehead. Crimson eyes were glazed over from beneath dark lashes that dusted Izaya's cheeks, eyes nearly shut from pleasure.

Shizuo barely noticed when the phone in his hand cracked and shattered. Unadulterated fury teamed with the sting of betrayal bubbled in the pit of his stomach, inflaming his chest and contorting his expression into a simmering glower. His fists itched to make contact with his roommate, and letting his adrenaline think for him, Shizuo swung his arm at the ignorant bastard-

"_Nnngahhh_," the soft moan tumbled from Izaya's parted lips, and it was just enough for Shizuo's fist to change paths midair and collide with the edge of the couch rather than the other man in surprise.

The sofa tilted at an alarming degree, before upsetting entirely and tipping over, spilling Izaya and his partner onto the floor in a blur of bodies. Izaya was sprawled unceremoniously over his partner, smothering the other's face with his chest, thoughts displaced from the tumble.

"_IZAYA!_" Shizuo bellowed in disgust, unable to tear his gaze away from the lithe, naked body beneath his roommate's. Izaya shifted over the other, moving in such a way that made Shizuo's stomach stir uncomfortably with the realization that Izaya's partner was a _man_. Their tangled limbs painted the picture of lust against the stark purity of white carpet. Shizuo felt sick to his stomach.

Izaya turned to Shizuo, eyes flickering lazily over his stiff form.

"Yes, _Shizu-chan?_" Izaya goaded from the floor, oddly un-vexed by his predicament, making no move off of the gasping man beneath him.

Shizuo's simmering glare narrowed at Izaya, and his hand grasped the edge of their kitchen table. He growled, "You fucking _bastard _liar, wha-"

The comment was dropped as immediately as Izaya's uninvited guest lifted his head dazedly from the ground, chest heaving still as his breath came in short gasps, his face completely blank save fore the light flush adorning his cheeks and ears.

"K-_Kasuka?_"

A crooked grin hung from Izaya's lips.

"How lovely, a family reunion," he sneered with a mocking roll of his eyes, pulling away from Kasuka.

Shizuo couldn't control the notable shake in his voice, or cold tremor that ran through his body as his anger completely drained and was replaced with a freeze-dried tingling and numb confusion.

Kasuka stared at him with a vacant expression, and Shizuo was only aware that he was speaking by the movement of his lips. The buzzing in his ears and whirring of his mind couldn't process everything fast enough.

Then he turned his wide eyes to Izaya.

"Fuck you."

The crooked grin thinned into a sharp smirk.

"Oh, but Kasuka already has. I'm all for a round tw—"

"Get up." Shizuo's commanding tone was directed at Kasuka, causing the younger man to wince slightly, disapproval and hurt swimming in Shizuo's condemning gaze.

Izaya frowned at the blatant dismissal of his jaunt, but watched with no less amusement as Kasuka struggled into a sitting position then pushed himself erect from the ground. The absolute lack of shame on the youngest Heiwajima's face intrigued Izaya, though not as much as the _completely_ empty expression adorning Shizuo's, while the blond grasped his brother's clothes from the carpet and shoved them wordlessly into the brunet's chest.

"Aw, don't tell me Kasu-chan's _leaving_," Izaya held back a grin, "we were just getting warmed u—" He was cut off again though, when his own clothes were flung into his face.

"You, get your pants on too, vermin," Shizuo demanded.

"Yes, sir," Izaya stifled a giggle, watching from the corner of his eyes as Shizuo pushed Kasuka from the room, and ushered him beyond Izaya's line of sight, where he could only guess the younger man was being sent home.

Izaya rose from the carpet, stretched, and stepped into his low hung jeans nonchalantly. He left his shirt on the floor, and went in search of Shizuo, feeling unsatisfied. When did _Shizuo_ gain so much control?

Turning the corner dramatically Izaya sauntered towards the front door, where he was met with the sight of his distraught roommate. The blond was leaning back against the front door, rubbing his temples, Kasuka no where to be seen. After a few moments of stationary silence, Izaya spoke.

"Hey, Shizu-chan, you okay? You don't seem too happy."

The grin that appeared beneath the blond fringe of hair surprised Izaya slightly.

"Heh, that was a sick joke, Izaya-kun."

His roommate and his brother. It was sick. It was a joke. Shizuo _knew_ Kasuka had higher standards than that—hell, he had a fucking _girlfriend_, he'd _never_ fall as low as Izaya. That's why it _had_ to be cruel humor, Kasuka wasn't _bi_, and he _certainly_ wasn't fooled by scum like Izaya. And Izaya, he just wanted to get _back_ at Shizuo, right? For banning the girls. It was a perfectly Izaya thing to do, he hadn't _actually_ wanted to do anything with Kasuka.

Izaya tapped his foot impatiently.

"As much as I'd _love_ to say I know what you're talking about, I don't, so do you mind sharing?"

The shaky grin on Shizuo's face fell into a frown, as his last hope of the situation being unreal was shot down. Hot shame and denial burned under Shizuo's skin. He lifted his head, accusing eyes pierced Izaya.

"You're a bastard."

Izaya supposed he should've expected the fist before it came, burying itself in his cheek and forcing his head to jerk diagonally to the left, and him to stumble to the side.

Fury danced across Shizuo's irises, lacing his mind with the poison of loathing. Izaya grinned, anticipation flurried in his stomach, and excitement coursed through his veins like a spark on wire.

This was what he'd been waiting to see.

"You said you wouldn't bring anyone else home."

Shizuo gazed down at him with cold indifference. Unwanted shivers chilled Izaya at the contradicting tone. Spite for Shizuo's demanding tone flared into his expression briefly, before he jested with his sugary-sweet overtones;

"Wrong, Shizu-chan, I said I wouldn't bring any more _women _home. Last time I checked, say _four or five minutes ago_, Kasuka wasn't a gir-"

"You damn well _knew_ what I meant, fucking lous—"

A sharp laugh devoid of humor cut into Shizuo's words.

The smile adorning Izaya's face was just as barren of joy.

" Oh come now, Shizu-chan, Kasu-chan's like _family!_ How could I say no to brother dearest when he just wanted in my pa-"

A flash of furious mocha eyes was all the warning Izaya had before a square punch to his chest sent him flying into the collapsed sofa all the way back in the den.

Shock wracked his body before the pain did, spine draped unnaturally over the sofa, his heart beat drowned his hearing and Izaya was unable to breathe for a few, terrifying moments. But Shizuo was beyond sympathy, and stalked closer to Izaya while the other struggled into a sitting position with a strained grimace. For a few more beats, Izaya couldn't wipe the surprise from his features-Shizuo had _never _lashed out at him like that before-he manipulated the surprise into a scowl, glowering pathetically at Shizuo, who stood above him.

"Fucking _bastard_, Kasuka would _never _willingly get with filth like you."

Crimson eyes narrowed dangerously at Shizuo, Izaya gaining his composure back.

"Oh really, Shizu-chan, I must not've noticed with the way he was beneath me, begging for more."

Shizuo tried to block out the words. "You fucking _corrupted _him, he has a _girlfriend-_"

"Oh please, he's so easy, all I had to do to get him moaning my name was invite him over."

When Shizuo cringed, Izaya continued, smugness enveloping him,

"Little Kasuka isn't as innocent as his big brother thinks. I wonder what you would've thought if you'd heard him; _'ohh, nngh, Izaya-san, aa-_'"

The air was swept from Izaya's lungs before he could get the last syllables to form on his tongue, and his eyes widened as he stared, with an out-of-body numbness, at the place his body had previously occupied. Or rather, where he would've been killed if he hadn't rolled out of the way in time.

Sound finally caught up with his ears, and the splintering crash of the wooden chair colliding with the sofa rattled his nerves. Izaya stared at the demolished chair. The only thing he could bring himself to feel was the heartbeat pounding erratically in his chest. This wasn't the Shizuo he knew. This wasn't the reaction he'd wanted. Shizuo was causing his grip to slip on his control of the situation. Izaya didn't like it, not one bit.

Shizuo stared, dumbfounded, seemingly just as surprised at his actions as Izaya, his confusion mirrored in the crimson eyes. But there was something else there as well—_something_ _else_ reflected between the both of them—fear.

It was Izaya's fault, Shizuo told himself, hostility rising at his roommate; _Izaya's _fault he'd snapped, _Izaya's _fault he'd lost control, and _Izaya's _fault that he'd almost been hit.

Whatever guilt they shared, they buried beneath their anger in seconds.

Izaya raised himself from the floor next to the demolished couch, and leaned against the nearby wall for support. His ribs ached. His back ached. His whole body felt weighted and sore. But passionate fire burned bright beneath his skin. A sharp smirk that slit Izaya's face resembled the tilting glint of a knife.

"Feeling better now, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo buried his fist in the plaster of the wall beside Izaya's head.

Their eyes locked-for a second, a minute, a hour-everything else irrelevant to them but each other, for that fleeting amount of time. The proximity was intoxicating, breath mingled, details of the other's face blurry-they didn't know what they were waiting for. Shizuo broke the connection.

He backed away from the wall, away from Izaya, and headed towards the dorm entrance. With his hand firm on the door handle, Shizuo's strained voice hung in the air long after his exit.

"I'm going to take a shower. You better not be here when I get back."

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**A/N: Yeeeppp. First off I wanna say how much I LOVE AcornWarriorrrr; she angel, she devil, she beta c: **  
**My precious KFC fish herder -heart-**

**And I wanna know why this week's going by so sloooooow :|**


	4. Chapter 4

Stepping into the empty unlit dorm, a wave of cool, distilled air swept around Shizuo and joined the chill prickling in the pit of his stomach. Water still dripped lifelessly from his limp blond hair, temporarily darkening his shirt and seeping down into skin that felt no warmer than the unwelcoming atmosphere. He stood in the dark doorway for a minute, mind completely numb and unassisted by the shower he'd taken. Inhaling deeply, Shizuo flipped the lights on, shuffling listlessly from the doorway, his heart, feet and eyes heavy.

He scanned the dorm for some form of reassurance that would balance out the foreign anxiety pumping through his veins. Bright sunlight filtered in through the window, and seemed to completely mismatch the dim mood. The rest of the dorm remained unchanged, but encompassed a whole new atmosphere; it had never before seemed so _empty_.

Shizuo collapsed onto the couch that was nearest to him in the dorm, trying to rest despite it being just late afternoon. He stared at the ceiling while the tense muscles in his back slowly adjusted to the relaxing cushions. His mind had frozen in place after he'd forced himself to stop thinking of the earlier events of his day whilst in the shower, and anxiety sprouted in his abdomen when he tried to contemplate them again. Raising his hand and slapping it lazily against his forehead, Shizuo massaged his temples with his forefinger and thumb, and his eyes began to slip shut.

Sleep was not going to be granted to him, that he knew for certain, at least until the nauseating imbalance of thoughts in his head was cleared. He ached to spill the stress, anxious to _tell _someone, just spit it all out in hopes it would reshuffle his thoughts and organize his mentality again. His pride just forced him to bottle it all up.

The seeming unbreakable silence in the dorm was drowning Shizuo. It'd been just two day's without Izaya coming back and it'd felt like a lifetime. Shizuo found himself waiting for the other's return—his teasing, his voice, his _presence_—at every moment. The silent admission sent the wheels spinning faster in his mind, his thoughts reeling backwards and denying the notion. He didn't miss _Izaya_, it was the omnipresent presence of his roommate that had grown hard to ignore, and without it the dorm felt _vacant_. It was the way Shizuo would come back home, expectant of a verbal battle with Izaya, which left him feeling unsatisfied now. It was the fault of the absent joking and sarcastic air around the both of them that had Shizuo feeling alienated by his own dorm.

After justifying the unsatisfied void in his heart with his roommate's absence, Shizuo backtracked further.

The memory of his fight with Izaya resurfaced, and with it a sense of unsettled guilt. Shizuo's brow creased at it, digging into why he should _ever _feel guilty about what he did. Izaya had deserved every hit he'd gotten. Karma at its finest. Izaya'd spent so much time throwing blows at Shizuo, with his suave smirk and laced words, that he had _forgotten _about the prospect of Shizuo retaliating. And that's all Shizuo had done: retaliated. _Hard_.

So there should have been _no reason _for the guilt that was pooling in Shizuo's chest. He felt his muscles contracting again, tensing with every passing thought of his shame. The shock in Izaya's eyes and the betrayal he'd been unable to mask resurfaced in Shizuo's mind, and the guilt doubled, blaming him for having the inability to control himself, and Shizuo realized, with a jolt, that it was the first time he'd ever seen Izaya hurt.

Quickly after, Shizuo pushed thoughts of Izaya away and replaced them with Kasuka. He still hadn't the faintest idea of why his own _brother _would want to sleep with his roommate, after all the times Shizuo had complained about the little flea. Izaya was manipulative, he was cunning, and would make you feel like the whole world was his playground, and you were just his plaything. His tongue was as sharp as his knife, and he'd cut you without a thought.

All this Shizuo had told Kasuka, soon after moving in with his roommate two years prior. Back then he'd absolutely _abhorred _Izaya, and Kasuka _knew _it, so then why would he go and betray Shizuo like that? As far as Kasuka knew, they still hated each other.

Thinking back on that, Shizuo could never _really _place where his hatred with Izaya had subsided. Somewhere along the line it'd faded to substantial dislike and reluctant acceptance, and from there just acknowledgement, then into faint interest, leading into an unstable friendship. That's about when the girls had started, actually. It started off as no big deal; maybe a girl once or twice every couple months. From there it built up to once a month, and before Shizuo could really get frustrated about it, Izaya had a new girl _every _week.

Izaya was by nature a flirty guy. Shizuo knew this. He noticed when Izaya dropped innuendos into their conversations, whether or not he'd been aware of his own double entrendres was unclear. And he hadn't questioned the random brushes of hands or shoulders when the two would hang out. Thinking about it now, Shizuo couldn't decide if Izaya was just teasing him, or didn't notice at all how suggestive his actions were.

Which led Shizuo to wonder if the whole mess with Kasuka was a cry for attention. If all of Izaya's escalating actions were just sparks in a fuse to an inevitable time-bomb.

With his mind racing in unwanted directions, Shizuo felt what little energy he had left draining. As the last of his scattered thoughts faded into oblivion, before he succumbed to a rocky slumber, a raw wave of regret spilled over him and encased the guilt gnawing his chest.

Barely making the transition from depthless black to dim swarming colors, Shizuo registered the slamming of the front door and someone stumbling into the threshold and crashing against the wall. Blinking away the traces of blurring sleep, Shizuo propped himself up on an elbow, resenting the ache that spread through his spine. He spared a glance at the blinking digital clock that flashed 2:00AM behind him, before heaving himself up from the couch and groggily walking towards the source of disturbance.

Shizuo peered around the corner to the dorm door and squinted in the darkness to see the hunched form that was slumped back against the wall. Eyes adjusting rapidly, he caught the heavy rise and fall of the person's chest, though the figure's face was obscured by a limp hood and a fringe of dark bangs. He narrowed his eyes and came to the realization that it was his _roommate _collapsed beside the door.

Panic took hold of his confusion, and swirled worried thoughts in a frenzy.

_Shit, where was he?_

_What the hell did he get into?_

_Is he even okay?_

_What the fuck do I do?_

_Shitshitshitshit._

Shizuo hastily fumbled for the light switch and ignored the sting to his retinas as light flooded the area. He dropped to the floor beside Izaya, pushing aside his now-seemingly childish banishment of the man, and swept the hood from over the other's face. Glazed crimson eyes stared out into seemingly nowhere, hooded and unfocused. Izaya's cheek was stained by a long but shallow-looking cut that was smeared with blood, and had a series of smaller cuts scattered around his face besides.

"Izaya?"

Shizuo's voice was rough and cracked from disuse, and his throat ran dry at the sight of his roommate in such a state. Izaya responded to Shizuo merely by shifting his hazy eyes in the other's direction, and his expression took on confusion in his state of deliria. Izaya's mouth dropped open as if to speak, but nothing came out other than more heavy breathing. Shizuo spotted the tinge of alcohol on his breath almost immediately.

Intense worry corrupted Shizuo's logical thought process, and he attempted to lift Izaya from his pathetic crumpled position on the ground, but stopped when a choked yelp was ripped from the man.

"Fuck, stop," he gasped with a tight-lipped grimace.

Shizuo quickly retracted his arms, glad that Izaya seemed to have at least retained some motor functions. His roommate's eyes sharpened and went into frenzied blinking, while his jaw set as he rode out the waves of ache. Shizuo scanned Izaya's body for the source of discomfort, and noticed the way his left arm hung rather limply over his stomach while the other clutched the fabric of his hoodie with white knuckles. Izaya looked disoriented for a few moments longer while Shizuo stared blankly at him, unsure of what his next move should be. Izaya's eyes locked with his own.

"Th' fuck 're _you _doin' here?"

Shizuo frowned at the slurred voice and glare in the other's eyes.

"If you _forgot_, I live here. And we need to get you to the hospital—"

Realization sparked in Izaya's dim eyes.

"_Are you fuck'n stupid_? I'm _twen'y_, ain't fuckin' _legal_." Izaya rolled his eyes as if it were the most obvious statement in the world, and pointed an accusatory finger at Shizuo, brows furrowing.

"An' you kicked me _out_, asshole, don' give a shi' at _all_."

The words struck a chord, and Shizuo's chest contracted painfully for a second.

He brushed off the comment, "Izaya, what _happened_?"

The fact that Izaya had actually gotten completely _wasted _was a surprise in itself; Shizuo knew Izaya never let himself get beyond his own control when drinking, and it was the first time he'd seen him look so pathetic. With the hood off his face, Shizuo could see Izaya actually processing his thoughts instead of immediately shooting off a smart comment as per usual, under a disarray of mussed brunet hair and marred red skin.

"Jus' a lil' fight," he answered finally.

"Izaya…"

"Why _d'you _care?" Izaya's eyes, unmasked in his state of discomposure, showed the hurt and rage he felt.

"You've been gone for _two days!_ How the fuck could I _not_—"

Izaya interrupted abruptly, ignoring Shizuo, simmering and trembling slightly.

"You know I was comple'ly _perf'ct _before you came, had ev'rythin' in control…"

Izaya seemed to reminisce thoughtfully, and Shizuo had an inkling that his rambling wasn't about trying to help him earlier. Izaya's face contorted into a scowl and he faced Shizuo again,

"An' you jus' went and screw'd it all up! _Why_? _You_—" Izaya jabbed his finger at Shizuo again, "—were s'pposed t' be th' one all messed up. Like yerr seein' _righ' through me_—how d'you _do _tha' shit? Fuck _you_, Shizu, I _hate _this, I hate _you!"_

Water brimmed at the edges of Izaya's eyes and stunned Shizuo into silence. He watched helplessly as angry tears rolled down the other's cheeks. Shizuo kneeled in front of Izaya, ignoring the protests as he carefully slid his arms underneath Izaya's legs and his back, wary of his left arm, and lifted the light-weight man. Shizuo struggled to reopen the front door, unable to flick off the lights before leaving his dorm with his roommate in his arms, headed to the safe haven of Shinra's dorm.

Shizuo slipped into the cool night air on the rather barren campus, merely hoping his med-student friend would know how to handle Izaya. On the way over, Izaya had slipped into unconsciousness, dried tears staining his flushed face.

He was painfully aware that Izaya's current state was most likely his own fault.

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**A/N: UGH, SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE GUYS. And on top of that it's pretty much DramaDramaAngstAngst. BUT. BUTT. I've been super busy and today's been just one huge struggle. And at first when I was trying to upload this I couldn't find it because I've been saving everything recently with super irrelevant lyrics to songs, which I should probably not do, because it just makes things x10 more complicated than they need to be. BUT I WOULDN'T BE ME WITHOUT DOING SIMPLE THINGS IN A COMPLICATED WAY.**

**Anyway, HUGE thanks to AcornWarrior for being awesome despite my not-awesome-lame-ness. And you should probably thank Konspiracy Kid too because without her "inspiration" (threats?) I probably would've kept procrastinating for...forever.**


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